San Diego Divorce Mediator

December 4th, 2011 No Comments   Posted in Mediation

San Diego Divorce Mediator
When in search for an experienced and skilled San Diego divorce mediator, what are some of the business aspects about the attorney you need to consider? Given the number of law firms that are available in the market, making an informed decision on the right type of divorce attorney to choose to represent your interest can be an uphill task for a majority of people. However, with the right information rest assured that the attorney selected will fight for your interests and rights until the case is concluded.
Due to the difficulties that most folks experience when looking for the right San Diego divorce mediator, the article seeks to offer a helping hand on how to go about the process with ease.
Tips and guidelines
Begin by talking to friends and family members who may have also in the recent past gone through a divorce.

Their experience with the attorney is vital in determining whether you will find someone who will have your interests at heart. Another referral system that has been used for years by hundreds of thousands of Americans looking for attorneys with experience in a particular niche is the state bar association office. For a small amount of money the office will furnish you with all the background information you may need in regards to divorce lawyers located in your area.
Secondly, determine how much the attorney charges for his/ her services. The best divorce lawyers are expensive, but, this ought not to be a hindrance as there are attorneys who offer flexible payment terms for their clients.
Thirdly, get to know the number of years the attorney has practiced family law. Of interest are the numbers of years they have in handling divorce cases. In order to know which laws have been repealed over the past ten years, you need an attorney who has built his/ her career on divorce cases.

For More Information on Cerebral Palsy Attorneys in New York search collaborative divorce san diego or san diego divorce mediator

Why Divorce Mediation Works

December 4th, 2011 No Comments   Posted in Mediation


Divorce mediation clients soon learn that there are wide varieties of financial and parenting resolutions that could be incorporated into their divorce decree. Mediation clients are encouraged to focus on many possible alternatives. This is quite different from the focus developed by the clients who choose to litigate their cases in the courts. Litigants tend to focus on developing the best possible resolution for themselves and to focus all of their attention and legal fees on getting exactly that. It isn’t until months or years into the litigation that they are forced to face the fact that the resolution that they formulated is not going to be the end result.

During the mediation process, each spouse has an opportunity to examine the best and worst possible resolutions for each of them and at least initially to put some parameters around the unknown.

Because they are in direct communication with each other throughout the process, they don’t have to fear being unprepared to address previously unknown demands during court proceedings.

Through mediation, both spouses become keenly aware of the fact that they are in a much better position to create a resolution of their divorce issues than to allow a court to do it for them.


Divorcing spouses always have some common interests and goals. In particular they both want to get through the divorce process in a way that minimizes the financial and emotional pain. Most people want to do the right thing in dealing with their former partner and more oft en than not do not want to cause their soon-to-be ex-spouse unnecessary pain.

They also almost always have concerns about minimizing any trauma to their children.

Divorcing spouses also always have some unique interests and goals that need to be communicated to the other, if such unique interests and goals are to be considered in crafting a resolution.

Mediation brings couples together with a trained professional who teaches them how to communicate and how to develop such goals. A good mediator will show them how to notice their emotions and their bodies’ reactions to the various options being explored during the mediation process. The mediator will then assist them in using this information to clarify and further explore what should be included in any resolution or settlement. It is through this kind mutual mindful communication that good resolutions evolve.


It is usually when each spouse gets in touch with their own interests and goals, and with those of the other, that they are able to use their joint creativity to develop unique resolutions.

Through the mediation process, couples learn to reframe the divorce process from being a way of dealing with a terrible loss to an opportunity for personal growth and evolution. Once this bridge is crossed, creative solutions quickly surface.

Ora Schwartzberg is a divorce attorney/mediator with offices in New Hampshire. She has recently published a book, Divorce Mediation from the Inside Out – A mindful approach to divorce. The book is available at her website or from all major booksellers.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

December 3rd, 2011 No Comments   Posted in Mediation

Divorce mediation is about you and your soon to be ex-spouse deciding your own divorce and what is best for the both of you and most importantly, your children. In mediation, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third party, the mediator, and with their help, you work through the issues you need to resolve so the two of you can end your marriage as amicably and cost effective as possible. The issues covered include but at not limited to the following:

1.Distribution of Property (Assets/Liabilities)

2.Child Custody and Parenting Time

3.Child Support/Maintenance



In mediation, the couple, with the help of the mediator, works out agreements on the above issues. Sometimes agreements come easy, sometimes they take time and a lot of work. When agreements are hard to reach, that is when the mediator intervenes. It is the mediators job to keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas, reality test the couple, teach empathy and assist the couple in their decision making process. Mediators help keep the couple focused on the issues at hand, trying not to get them off track. When divorcing couples get off track and away from the above issues during mediation, arguing, name-calling and bad prior memories are brought up.

Mediation is flexible and confidential. It gives you and your spouse a way to settle the conflict between you in a way that helps you to work together as parents. This is extremely important if you have children and must interact with your ex-spouse after you are divorced. Mediation brings about communication between the couple, which can then be used when they must discuss issues in pertaining to the children. Lack of communication may have been one of the main reasons for their divorce. Mediation has the ability to help the couple learn to communicate again, if only for the sake of the children, and make their post-divorce relationship better than their married one.

A divorce mediator is neutral and doesn’t “work” for either parent. That means the mediator can not give advice to either party. They must remain neutral no matter what the situation.

What the mediator can do, though, is assist the divorcing couple in formulating ideas that can eventually lead to agreements that will stand the test of time. That open and free exchange of information frees up both spouses to negotiate with each other in confidence. Because both spouses are working with the same base of information, it usually takes far less time to negotiate a resolution that makes sense to both spouses.

Mediation is voluntary. It continues only for so long as all three of you – you, your spouse, and the mediator — want it to. Mediation can be conducted weekly, every two weeks, monthly or how ever often the couple wants them to be. This is their mediation and they decide everything in the process.

How long does divorce mediation take and what are the costs?

The length of mediation depends on what issues have been agreed to prior to mediation and those issues that need to be addressed during mediation. Also, the amount of time spent in mediation is contingent upon you and your spouse’s willingness to come to agreements that are equitable for the both of you and your willingness to do what is in the best interests of your children.

The time spent in mediation can be reduced if you and your spouse are able to come to agreements prior to mediation, or at the least, narrow down your options to a few workable ones. However, if you and your spouse are not able to discuss your divorce outside of mediation, it is strongly recommended that you avoid it at all costs. When couples try to work out issues on their own and it leads to arguments and “drawing lines in the sand”, it makes mediation more difficult and time consuming.

On average, pre-decree divorce mediation can be completed in 4-10 sessions. Again, how long it takes really depends on what if any communication there is between the divorcing couples and their level of animosity for each other. If either one of the spouses is unwilling to budge from their certain position on a divorce issues, mediation may not be an option for them and they may have to litigate in court. Once this happens, communication is shut down and the fight begins.

In 2008, the average mediated case cost $ 3000 and was settled in 90 days. In turn, the average litigated case in the courts cost $ 15,000 and took 18 months to settle. Keep in mind, the litigated cases led to more spite and frustration between the divorcing couples, usually leading to a lose/lose situation for both. Not many people walk away from a litigated divorce feeling satisfied. On the other hand, couples who went through mediation felt satisfied with the agreements they had reached and both walked away feeling that they had gotten what they had wanted. Who would you rather have decide what happens with your children and assets after a divorce, you during mediation or attorneys and judges during a divorce in the courts? Who knows more about you, attorneys, judges or you? Why have people who know nothing about you tell you how you are going to live the rest of your life.

Also, divorce in the court system is public domain. Anybody can sit in court and hear the specifics of your divorce. On the other hand, mediation is confidential, private and conducted behind closed doors. In mediation, there are no attorneys putting up walls between you and your spouse. Mediation is about working together, doing things in the best interests of your children and focusing on being able to be parents for your children for years to come. Unfortunately, divorce in the court system is designed to put up that wall and limit communication, which inevitably leads to many post divorce problems and many more hours and thousands of dollars in court.

Brian James is a mediator with C.E.L. and Associates, a mediation, therapy, and coaching services firm with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. Learn more about the advantages of mediation and co mediation in Illinois for divorce at Visit our blog for information tips, trends, and advice on mediation and divorce at

Wise Decisions: Cost Issues in Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation

December 3rd, 2011 No Comments   Posted in Mediation

Article by Brian James

Approaching the disillusion of a marriage, both parties are faced with many hard decisions. Whether to choose mediation over litigation is fundamental and primary in the divorce process. When couples weigh the pluses and minuses of both choices, the factor of cost must be of primary concern. The costs of divorce litigation are both significant and a source of concern for couples as well as even the attorneys that may represent them. In their September 2002 meeting, the Beverly Hills, California Bar Association issued the statement, “By the time we see [divorce] cases in court, most people have spent all their community assets in the divorce itself. By that time, we’re just dividing debts and attorney’s fees.” It is obvious that cost is a universal concern.

The cost of a mediated divorce, with one attorney, is on average $ 5,000 to $ 7,000. However, the cost of a litigated divorce averages $ 30,000. This disparity can grow significantly when a divorce is more complex. When you factor in the considerable expenses a divorcing couple faces, the added costs of divorce litigation are devastating. It is incumbent upon couples to look for ways to reduce costs so that assets remain for the benefit of their children and for relocation, housing, and associated costs. Choosing mediation represents a “wise decision” when looking for a way to cut costs while insuring the soundness of the divorce process.

Certainly, cost is not the single reason to choose mediation, but it is a significant consideration. When evaluated with the many other benefits of mediation, mediation represents a way to cut costs without sacrificing the quality of service. The mediation process offers a couple the flexibility and sensitivity that is the hallmark of divorce mediation. Mediators are specifically trained to focus on the priorities of their clients and, from industry reports; cost savings is a top priority. Many couples see their worst fears materialized when the choose divorce litigation and their mutual resources are totally depleted by attorney fees and court costs. Facing a divorce is, in itself, a fear provoking proposition and adding the hardship of financial stress can be a terrible burden. Divorce mediation eliminates the financial stress and the couple can focus on a meaningful and thoughtful process of resolving their marriage.

Another important consideration is the effect a bitter and contentious battle over money will have on the children in the marriage. Nothing can provoke more hostility and anger than argument of assets and costs. The children are silent witnesses to this battle and can face significant worry over the issue of financial security and their own well being. When they hear their parents agonizing over costs and their own insecurities over their financial future, children cannot help but internalize these issues. “Will they have to switch schools?” “Will they have to move from the family home?” “How will their life style be changed?” These are all questions that trouble the children, as well as the parents. The fear of an unknown and vague future can impact children even more deeply than the adults in the divorce process. Divorce mediation is, again, a “wise choice” because the financial benefits will ensure that the couple’s children will not have to face the acrimony of arguments over assets and property division.

Divorce mediation offers couples a dignified, confidential, and sensitive approach to the process of divorce. Cutting costs is important but certainly not at the expense of other needs. Mediation, with a sensitive and professional mediator, serves a multitude of needs. Mediation offers both parties a way to resolve their marriage in an atmosphere where priorities are recognized, equity is paramount, and the emotional well being of everyone affected is addressed. The right mediator offers these essential benefits while keeping costs reasonable and responsible.

Brian James is a mediator with C.E.L. and Associates, a mediation, therapy, and coaching services firm with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. Learn more about the advantages of mediation and co mediation in Illinois for divorce at Visit our blog for information tips, trends, and advice on mediation and divorce at

How A Tampa Divorce Lawyer Can Use Mediation To Help His Clients Seeking A Divorce In Florida

December 2nd, 2011 No Comments   Posted in Mediation

Article by Florida Law Group

Divorce can be a very difficult and expensive procedure for both parties involved. When a divorce is initiated there are many issues which must be resolved between the two parties. For instance, which spouse will become the primary guardian of the children, who gets to keep the house, and the amount of alimony or child support to be paid each month. Often, the two parties will disagree on the appropriate resolution for these issues and hire a Tampa divorce lawyer to negotiate on their behalf. Negotiation can be a very long and time consuming process, resulting in high fees paid to the Tampa divorce lawyers. If the parties fail to come to an agreement a Florida family law court will decide the outcome of each contested issue for them. In most cases, it is best for the two parties to resolve the differences between themselves, rather than having a Florida family law court decide the outcome. If the two parties are struggling to reach a settlement and do not want to leave the decision in the hands of a judge they should consider mediation.

Mediation is quickly becoming a very popular tool in divorce negotiations. Mediation is when the two spouses and their Tampa divorce lawyers meet with a neutral party to discuss resolution of the issues. The mediator should be someone who is well verse in Florida divorce law and has experience with Florida divorce proceedings. Often, the mediator will be a retired Tampa divorce attorney or Florida family law court judge. The mediator does not decide the outcome of the negotiations or provide legal advice to the two parties. The mediator has no legal authority to determine the outcome of the contested issues. However, the mediator can present alternatives and provide a neutral third party opinion to help the parties reach an agreement. Mediation also allows a Tampa divorce lawyer an opportunity to better gauge his client’s position. If the Tampa divorce attorney is unable to persuade the mediator that his client’s position is legally sound it could indicate that the argument would be unsuccessful if brought before a Florida family law court.

Under Florida divorce law, anything discussed during mediation is considered confidential and may not be used as evidence if the mediation fails and the divorce is brought before a Florida family law court for adjudication. However, a mediation report will be sent to the court outlining what was agreed upon and what issues are still remaining. If the mediation was successful then the mediator will draft an agreement for both parties to sign. Once the agreement is signed, it will be forwarded to the court and the judge will often honor the agreement.

For more information on mediation or to schedule a free consultation with a Tampa divorce lawyer contact Florida Law Group.

Florida Law Group has served as a dependable source for information regarding a Tampa Divorce Lawyer for many years. For dependable answers and advice on finding a reputable Tampa Divorce Attorney visit our website today.

Consider Co-Mediation for Divorce

December 1st, 2011 No Comments   Posted in Mediation

Article by Brian James

Couples filing for divorce should be aware of a new service called co mediation. In a traditional divorce, both husband and wife hire a divorce attorney. Couples are encouraged to fight for what they want with a divorce attorney. And the result is a divorce process that takes months or years to complete.

A service called mediation offers relief for divorcing couples. With the help of a mediator, the divorcing couples can sit down together, make a target list of issues like finances, division of assets, and child visitation and work towards reaching an agreement on those issues. By creating a safe, neutral environment where each person can be heard, it allows you to put destructive feelings aside and focus on finding a solution that works for both individuals using divorce mediation.

Mediation in general is used to work through issues between divorcing couples before going to court. In many states the judge recommends mediation before going to trial to insure that all issues of finance, child custody, and other concerns have been agreed up previously as to not make the court proceedings drag on. Since mediation is usually less expensive than working this out at trial, it makes financial sense for mediation agreements to be worked through prior to the actual dissolution of the marriage in court.

Now, a service called co-mediation offers some advantages to making the family mediation process more more quickly and easily. In a co-mediation service process, two mediators work together to help a couple resolve issues. Having two mediators makes it easier to hear and see all sides of an issue. Additionally, when two mediators work together in a co-mediation team, there is more creativity and strategy to pull from in creating win/win solutions. Another aspect is that each divorce mediator pulls from a different set of life and work experience allowing for additional insight and perception of the situations. Maybe the women is more open with another women and a man may feel more secure working with a male counterpart during mediation. This type of mediation can make mediation a more agreeable way to work through issues before going to court.

Many couples have found that having a man and woman working together on mediating an issue during a divorce offers two points of view. It may help ensure there are fewer post-decree issues and court appearances. With less fighting, you can process your divorce and get on creating a new life for yourself.

Brian James is an experienced Divorce and Family Mediator with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. Brian earned his B.S. in Sociology from Northern Illinois University in 1994 and completed training in Mediation and Conflict Resolution at Northwestern University. For more information please visit Brian’s website, or give him a call at (312) 524-5829.